SWLE Forum Index
FAQ  Search  Memberlist  Usergroups  Register  Log in  Album  Download

Previous topic :: Next topic
Moved by: DemonicJ
Fri Dec 09, 2011 12:00 am
Laughter is the best medicine
Author Message
thepossum1 
Gamer God


Joined: 09 Jun 2008
Posts: 241
Location: North Carolina, USA
Posted: Sat Aug 13, 2011 1:44 pm   Laughter is the best medicine

Jeanne has suggested a thread with jokes, so here you go.

RL can get you down, so let's have some good jokes to help keep things FUN!!!!!
 
     
Jeanne 
Gamer God
Unique


Joined: 05 Sep 2008
Posts: 421
Location: Copenhagen, Denmark
Posted: Sat Aug 13, 2011 2:07 pm   

Yes I love to laugh :mrgreen:
Post a joke here, you can post every day but 1 per day per person.
The joke of the week (judged by Milee and Possum every Monday) wins 150 credits.
So go on ... make us laugh :lol:
Last edited by Jeanne on Mon Aug 15, 2011 10:59 pm; edited 1 time in total  
 
     
whenonlagain 
Gamer Deity

Joined: 29 Apr 2010
Posts: 69
Posted: Sat Aug 13, 2011 9:23 pm   OK - let me be the first one:

A couple sitting at the dinner.
She dribbles the trousers and said:
"Oh, I look like a pig"
He says:
"And you splattered, too!"
 
     
Jeanne 
Gamer God
Unique


Joined: 05 Sep 2008
Posts: 421
Location: Copenhagen, Denmark
Posted: Sun Aug 14, 2011 8:23 am   

He is so short his hair smell like feet.
 
     
Ferrari 
Gamer God


Age: 56
Joined: 10 Mar 2007
Posts: 1937
Location: Netherlands
Posted: Sun Aug 14, 2011 8:48 am   

( I know I am not in your dyn, and i dont need credits looool, this is Just For Fun)
This one makes me smile , every time i hear it......

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep.

Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”

“I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes” replies Watson.

“And what do you deduce from that?”

Watson ponders for a minute. “Well,


Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.

Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.

Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.

Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.

Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe.
But what does it tell you, Holmes?”

Holmes is silent for a moment.

“Watson, you idiot!” he says. “Someone has stolen our tent!”
_________________
Love me just the way I am
 
 
     
WD4080 
Gamer

Joined: 15 Aug 2011
Posts: 9
Location: United States
Posted: Mon Aug 15, 2011 12:08 pm   

You are riding a horse at full speed, a giraffe is beside you, an elephant in front of you and a lion behind you.
WHAT DO YOU DO?
A. You get your drunk a** off the carousel!!!
_________________
The MOB Doing It GOOD!
Last edited by Jeanne on Mon Aug 15, 2011 2:37 pm; edited 1 time in total  
 
     
Milee 
Gamer Deity


Age: 73
Joined: 17 Mar 2008
Posts: 67
Location: Montana USA
Posted: Mon Aug 15, 2011 9:35 pm   

This is a footnote for the contest.

It will run Sunday to Sunday with judging being done by myself and the possum on Mondays. the judging will begin next Monday because we started in the middle of a week. Good luck everyone :grin:
.
_________________
I used to have a handle on life.....but it broke off.
 
     
thepossum1 
Gamer God


Joined: 09 Jun 2008
Posts: 241
Location: North Carolina, USA
Posted: Tue Aug 16, 2011 11:29 pm   

Yay! Great start--thanks all for sharing.


oops, forgot to add a joke of my own--DOES NOT COUNT IN CONTEST!

A lady was walking down the street when she was a approached by a lady beggar asking for money.The lady took a $20 bill out of her purse, and asked “if I give you this money will you spend it on chocolate.” “Don’t be ridiculous” the beggar replied “does it look like I have nothing better to spend money on?” “How about shopping?” she asked. “No,” the beggar said, “don’t you understand I need money just to stay alive.” “Will you spend it on your hair?” the lady asked. Annoyed the beggar replied, “No, I just need money for food, and shelter. “In that case” the lady said “I don’t want to just give you money I would like you to eat out with me and my husband tonight.”
“Why?” The beggar asked. “Well,”the lady said “I think it’s important for him to see what a lady looks like after she gives up chocolate, shopping, and hair appointments.”
 
     
Jeanne 
Gamer God
Unique


Joined: 05 Sep 2008
Posts: 421
Location: Copenhagen, Denmark
Posted: Sun Aug 21, 2011 7:14 am   

A bad joke?

What do you call a mix between a Bulldog and a Shih Tzu?

A Bull-Shiht :oops:
 
     
whenonlagain 
Gamer Deity

Joined: 29 Apr 2010
Posts: 69
Posted: Mon Aug 22, 2011 8:06 am   new week new joke

Father and son walk for the first time together on the hunt.
the Father says: "Stay here and be quiet I'm going to other side of the field. "
A few minutes later the father heard a scream, that blood bring to a halt and he runs back to his son.
"What happened?" asks the father. "I told you, to be really silent. "
The son replies, "Well listen, I have no beeps made as the snake slid over my feet. I was quite quiet when the bear was close behind me and has typed on my Shoulder. I have not moved a muscle as the Skunk climbed over my back. I stopped breathing and closed my eyes as the wasp stung me.
I did not cough when I swallowed the gnat and I cursed myself as not even scratched the nettle itched.
But when the two squirrels in my pants leg climbing up and one said to another,
"Should we eat here or take home? "
I'm sorry, but I simply lost my temper! "
 
     
Milee 
Gamer Deity


Age: 73
Joined: 17 Mar 2008
Posts: 67
Location: Montana USA
Posted: Tue Aug 23, 2011 12:03 am   

whenonlagain is the winner of this weeks joke contest! Everyone was great and a honorable mention goes to Ferrari :mrgreen: . Thanks everyone!
_________________
I used to have a handle on life.....but it broke off.
 
     
thepossum1 
Gamer God


Joined: 09 Jun 2008
Posts: 241
Location: North Carolina, USA
Posted: Tue Aug 23, 2011 12:29 am   

Congrats Lag!

Here's another that doesn't count to get this week started:

The newlyweds are in their honeymoon room and the groom decides to let the bride know where she stands right from the start of the marriage.

He proceeds to take off his trousers and throw them at her. He says, "Put those on."

The bride replies, "I can't wear your trousers."

He replies, "And don't forget that! I will always wear the pants in the family!"

The bride takes off her knickers and throws them at him with the same request, "Try those on!"

He replies,"I can't get into your knickers!"

"And you never bloody will if you don't change your attitude."
 
     
Jeanne 
Gamer God
Unique


Joined: 05 Sep 2008
Posts: 421
Location: Copenhagen, Denmark
Posted: Tue Aug 23, 2011 12:57 am   

and he asked: What can I do to make you believe me?
Reduce my IQ 100 points, she replied :wink:
 
     
Milee 
Gamer Deity


Age: 73
Joined: 17 Mar 2008
Posts: 67
Location: Montana USA
Posted: Tue Aug 23, 2011 1:36 am   

Possum, I really like that one :lol: !
_________________
I used to have a handle on life.....but it broke off.
 
     
Jeanne 
Gamer God
Unique


Joined: 05 Sep 2008
Posts: 421
Location: Copenhagen, Denmark
Posted: Mon Aug 29, 2011 12:33 am   

A follow up to my "bad" joke:

How do you breed a Bulldog and a Shih Tzu? ..... Doggie-style :oops:
 
     
Milee 
Gamer Deity


Age: 73
Joined: 17 Mar 2008
Posts: 67
Location: Montana USA
Posted: Mon Aug 29, 2011 5:59 pm   

Your our new winner this week Jeanne. Even bad jokes are good enough :lol: .
_________________
I used to have a handle on life.....but it broke off.
 
     
Jeanne 
Gamer God
Unique


Joined: 05 Sep 2008
Posts: 421
Location: Copenhagen, Denmark
Posted: Mon Aug 29, 2011 6:50 pm   

LOL that's almost a joke in itself :razz:

Well new week new joke:

The blond put lipstick on her forehead cause she was told to make up her mind :o
 
     
Milee 
Gamer Deity


Age: 73
Joined: 17 Mar 2008
Posts: 67
Location: Montana USA
Posted: Mon Aug 29, 2011 8:33 pm   

Good one Jeanne :roll: .

[ Added: Mon Aug 29, 2011 1:44 pm ]
Alright, here's one bad one from me (doesn't count):

Impotence: Nature's way of saying, "No hard feelings" :razz: .
_________________
I used to have a handle on life.....but it broke off.
 
     
Jeanne 
Gamer God
Unique


Joined: 05 Sep 2008
Posts: 421
Location: Copenhagen, Denmark
Posted: Wed Aug 31, 2011 1:29 am   

Rofl :mrgreen:

Heard in lobby: The closest he ever got to a desk job was sitting backwards on the toilet writing on the tank :wink:
 
     
whenonlagain 
Gamer Deity

Joined: 29 Apr 2010
Posts: 69
  Posted: Thu Sep 01, 2011 3:32 pm   

One girl to another:
"I made a pregnancy test yesterday"

The other asks:
"Were the questions hard?"
 
     
Display posts from previous:   
Reply to topic
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
You cannot attach files in this forum
You can download files in this forum
Add this topic to your bookmarks
Printable version

Jump to:  

Powered by phpBB modified by Przemo © 2003 phpBB Group
Akagahara style created by Nash modified v0.8 by warna