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Lazosz Jokes of the day
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Age: 47
Joined: 10 Apr 2014
Posts: 7
Location: Velvento, Greece
Posted: Fri Aug 22, 2014 9:55 am   Lazosz Jokes of the day

Jokε of τhε dαy - [22-08-2014]

Tired of constant blonde jokes, a blonde dyes her hair brown. She goes for a drive in the country and sees a shepherd herding his sheep across the road.

- "Hey, shepherd, if I guess how many sheep are here, can I keep one?" she asks.

The shepherd agrees. She blurts out, "352!". The shepherd is stunned but keeps his word and allows her to pick a sheep.

- "I'll take this one!", she says proudly, "It's the cutest!"
- "Hey lady,...", says the shepherd, "...if I guess your real hair color, can I have my dog back?"
Last edited by lazosz on Sat Aug 23, 2014 11:37 am; edited 1 time in total  
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The Mob Emperor

Helped: 9 times
Age: 52
Joined: 13 Jan 2006
Posts: 1541
Location: Australia
Posted: Sat Aug 23, 2014 11:06 am   

Funny lazosz! keep up the fun!
Do it Legit. You break the rules, don't expect a pleasant outcome

“You are not entitled to your opinion. You are entitled to your informed opinion. No one is entitled to be ignorant.”

Proudly the Emperor of The MOB. The oldest surviving & most successful large dynasty

Age: 47
Joined: 10 Apr 2014
Posts: 7
Location: Velvento, Greece
Posted: Sat Aug 23, 2014 11:39 am   Jokε of τhε dαy

Jokε of τhε dαy - [23-08-2014]

---- 1 ----

Q: If your wife is shouting at the front door and your dog is barking at the back door, who do you let in first?
A: The dog -- at least he'll quiet down after you let him in.

---- 2 ----

An old couple celebrates their 50th wedding anniversary in their home.

- "Just think,..." the old man says, "...we were sitting here at this same breakfast table, naked as jaybirds, 50 years ago."
- "Well,..." the old lady snickers, "...what do you say -- should we get naked?"

The two immediately strip to the buff and sit back down at the table.

- "You know, honey,..." the little old lady says slyly, "...my breasts burn for you now as they did 50 years ago."
- "I'm not surprised!" replies the old man. "One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal!"
Last edited by lazosz on Sun Aug 24, 2014 9:47 pm; edited 1 time in total  

Joined: 15 Aug 2011
Posts: 9
Location: United States
Posted: Sun Aug 24, 2014 4:54 pm   

You put up some very funny jokes lazosz, thank you very much!! :mrgreen:

[ Added: Sun Aug 24, 2014 11:55 am ]
How do I get the GO BUSTERS off of here? :oops:
The MOB Doing It GOOD!

Age: 47
Joined: 10 Apr 2014
Posts: 7
Location: Velvento, Greece
Posted: Sun Aug 24, 2014 9:57 pm   

Thanks WD4080 !!
Sometimes I even laugh by myself, after I read what I have written!!
LOL :roll: :lol:
What do you mean by the....GO BUSTERS :?:

[ Added: Mon Aug 25, 2014 12:53 am ]
In fact, that which inspired me to start writing down every joke I've heard, was that funny line that sometimes shows up in our Yarold's Profile, along with some other profile options, saying:
"Laughs in sleep: yes... scary!"

It's so funny...!!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:


        Adult content:        yes
        Allow sending mail:   yes
        Laughs in sleep:      yes... scary!
        Advanced mode:        yes
        Profile links:        yes

Joined: 15 Aug 2011
Posts: 9
Location: United States
Posted: Mon Aug 25, 2014 2:25 am   

I was in the Dyn Ghost Busters before I joined the Mob.
Where you now see The Mob doing it good, was ..Go Busters.. and I didn't remember how to take it off. I remembered! :wink:
The MOB Doing It GOOD!

Age: 47
Joined: 10 Apr 2014
Posts: 7
Location: Velvento, Greece
Posted: Mon Aug 25, 2014 7:14 am   

Jokε of τhε dαy - [25-08-2014]

---- 1 ----

A husband and wife go to a restaurant. The waiter approaches the table to take their order.

- "I'll have your biggest, juiciest steak!" says the husband.
- "But sir, what about the mad cow?" asks the waiter.
- "Oh,..." says the husband, "...she'll order for herself."

---- 2 ----

Betty and Tim die in a car accident on the eve of their wedding. In Heaven, they ask St. Peter if they can still be married.

- "Well, let me find out if this is possible. Stay here and I will be right back."

Six months pass and Peter returns.

- "Yes, we can do this for you."

The couple asks, "Well, as we have spent so much time together waiting for your answer, we need to know that if things don't work out, is there a possibility that we can be divorced?"

To which St. Peter answers, "It took me six months to find a priest up here!! How long do you think it will take me to find a lawyer?"

[ Added: Tue Aug 26, 2014 9:25 am ]
Jokε of τhε dαy - [26-08-2014]

---- 1 ----

A prisoner in jail receives a letter from his wife: "Dear husband, I have decided to plant some lettuce in the back garden. When is the best time to plant them?"

The prisoner, knowing that the prison guards read all mail, replies in a letter: "Dear wife, whatever you do, do not touch the back garden. That is where I hid all the money."

A week or so later, he receives another letter from his wife. "Dear husband, you wouldn't believe what happened. Some men came with shovels to the house and dug up the back garden."

The prisoner writes back: "Dear wife, now is the best time to plant the lettuce."

---- 2 ----

After an hour of gathering up his courage, a shy guy finally approaches the hot girl at the end of the bar. "Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?"

She yells, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight, you pig!"

Everyone in the bar stops and stares. Completely embarrassed, the guy slinks back to his table with a red face.

After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. I'm a graduate student in psychology, and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing public situations."

To which the guy responds as loudly as possible, "What do you mean €200 for a BJ?"

[ Added: Wed Aug 27, 2014 9:16 am ]
Jokε of τhε dαy - [27-08-2014]

Two guys show up in Heaven at the same time. The first guy says he froze to death, and the second guy tells him that he died of a heart attack.

- "How did that happen?" asks the first guy.
- "Well, I came home and thought I heard my wife with another man. But when I searched the house, I couldn't find anybody. I was so stricken with remorse for wrongly accusing my wife of infidelity, I had a heart attack and died on the spot."
- "Geez,..." says the first guy. "...if you'd opened the fridge, we'd both be alive right now."

[ Added: Fri Aug 29, 2014 7:48 am ]
Jokε of τhε dαy - [29-08-2014]

---- 1 ----

Man: You've brought religion into my life.
Woman: Really? How?
Man: Until I met you, I didn't believe in Hell.

---- 2 ----

A Catholic, a Baptist and a Mormon are bragging about the size of their families.

- "I have four boys, and my wife is expecting another!" says the Catholic. "One more son, and I'll have a basketball team."
- "That's nothing!" says the Baptist. "I have 10 boys now, and my wife is pregnant with another child. One more son, and I'll have a football team."
- "That's nothing!!" says the Mormon. "I have 17 wives. One more wife, and I'll have a golf course."

[ Added: Wed Sep 03, 2014 7:46 am ]
Jokε of τhε dαy - [03-09-2014]

On the day of her wedding to Prince Edward, Sophie gets dressed and realizes that she forgot her shoes. Panic sets in until her sister loans her another pair of shoes. Unfortunately they are a bit too small and at the end of the night Sophie's feet are in agony.

The rest of the Royal Family crowds around the door to the bedroom and they hear grunts, straining noises and the occasional muffled scream. Eventually, they hear Edward say: "God, that was tight."

- "There,..." whispers the Queen to the Duke, "...I told you she was a virgin."

Then, to their surprise, they hear Edward say: "Right. Now for the other one." Followed by more grunting and, "My God. That was even tighter."

- "That's my boy!!" says the Duke. "Once a sailor, always a sailor."
Gamer God

Helped: 2 times
Joined: 05 Sep 2008
Posts: 421
Location: Copenhagen, Denmark
Posted: Wed Sep 03, 2014 6:48 am   

WD4080 wrote:
I was in the Dyn Ghost Busters before I joined the Mob.
Where you now see The Mob doing it good, was ..Go Busters.. and I didn't remember how to take it off. I remembered! :wink:

GhostBusters? I think you mean Click Busters :mrgreen:
Thanks for the laughs Lazosz :grin:

Age: 47
Joined: 10 Apr 2014
Posts: 7
Location: Velvento, Greece
Posted: Thu Sep 04, 2014 2:34 am   

Jokε of τhε dαy - [04-09-2014]

---- 1 ----

Two blondes were on their way to Disneyland and came to a fork in the road. The sign read: "Disneyland Left."

So they went home.

---- 2 ----

A man and his wife are at a restaurant, and the husband keeps staring at an old drunken lady swigging her gin at a nearby table. His wife asks:

- "Do you know her?"
- "Yes!"
sighs the husband. "She's my ex-wife. She took to drinking right after we divorced seven years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since."
- "My God!"
says the wife. "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"

[ Added: Fri Sep 05, 2014 8:29 am ]
Jokε of τhε dαy - [05-09-2014]

[Although I didn't even give out a smile to the lady, who told me this joke, however, I have to admit it's a good one!!]

One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God:

- "Lord, I have a problem!"
- "What's the problem, Eve?"
God asks her.
- "Lord,..." she says, "...I know you've created me and have provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, and that hilarious comedy snake, but I'm just not happy."
- "Why is that, Eve?"
came the reply from above.
- "Lord, I am lonely. And I'm sick to death of apples," she says.
- "Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you!" the good Lord tells her.
- "What's a 'man', Lord?" she inquires.
- "This man will be a flawed creature, with aggressive tendencies, an enormous ego and an inability to empathize or listen to you properly. All in all, he'll give you a hard time. But, he'll be bigger and faster and more muscular than you. He'll be really good at fighting and kicking a ball about and hunting fleet-footed ruminants, and not altogether bad in the sack."
- "Sounds great!"
says Eve, with an ironically raised eyebrow.
- "Yeah, well. He's better than a poke in the eye with a burnt stick. But, you can have him on one condition."
- "What's that, Lord?"
she asks.
- "You'll have to let him believe that I made him first."

[ Added: Sun Sep 07, 2014 9:02 am ]
Jokε of τhε dαy - [07-09-2014]

---- 1 ----

A guy goes to the eye doctor. In the middle of the exam, the doctor tells him: "You need to stop masturbating."
The guy replies: "Why Doc? Am I going blind?"
The doctor says: "No, but you're upsetting my nurse and me."

---- 5 ----

Once upon a time there was a 98-year old woman whose billionaire husband died. The woman had inherited all of her deceased husband's fortune and decided she would see if she could remarry herself a fine young man.

So, she walked into a bar and announced to all the men that she had inherited billions of dollars and would marry the guy with the biggest penis. Now of course this woman wasn't all that in the looks department, but, the guys didn't care because they knew this old lady would die soon and they would get all that money.

The woman then told the men to stiff themselves up to full erection and lay their penises on a long table. They did what she said. All of a sudden, two gay guys walked into the bar, looked at the table and said to one another: - "Look! A buffet!!"

[ Added: Mon Sep 08, 2014 8:43 am ]
Jokε of τhε dαy - [08-09-2014]

---- 1 ----

Two couples go on vacation together. After a week, they are thoroughly bored.

The men decide that maybe life will take on new meaning if they change partners. They all agree that it's an experiment worth trying.

The morning after the switch, one of the husbands says: ''I'm glad we tried this. It was exhilarating. Come on, let's go in the other room and see how the girls got on.''

---- 2 ----

Once, there was a farmer who was raising 3 daughters on his own. He was very concerned about their well being and always did his best to watch out for them. As they entered their late teens the girls dated, and on this particular evening all three of his girls were going out on a date. This was the first time this had occurred. As was his custom, he would greet the young suitor at the door holding his shotgun, not to menace or threaten but merely to ensure that the young man knew who was the boss.

The doorbell rang and the first of the boys arrived. Father answered the door and the lad said: "Hi, my name's Joe, I'm here for Flo. We're going to the show, is she ready to go?" The father looked him over and sent the kids on their way.

The next lad arrived and said: "My name's Eddie, I'm here for Betty, we're gonna get some spaghetti, is she ready?" Father felt this one was okay too, so off the two kids went.

The final young man arrived and the farmer opened the door. The boy started off: "Hi, my name's Chuck....", and the farmer shot him.

[ Added: Wed Sep 10, 2014 4:54 am ]
Jokε of τhε dαy - [10-09-2014]

---- 1 ----

A woman wearing a strapless gown and sporting a necklace with an airplane on it spotted a young man staring at her.

She asked him: "Were you admiring my airplane?"
He replied: "No, I was admiring the landing field."

---- 2 ----

A blond man and a brunette woman were happily married and about to have a baby. One day, the wife started having contractions, so the husband rushed her to the hospital, and she gave birth to two baby boys.

The blond man, frustrated turned to his wife and yelled: "All right, who's the other father?"

[ Added: Fri Sep 12, 2014 9:20 am ]
Jokε of τhε dαy - [12-09-2014]

A man strolls into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some condoms.

- ''What size please?'', the assistant asks.
- ''Good question!" he replies, "I'm not sure."
- ''Tell ya what. Right outside, there's a fence with three holes in it, stick your pennis in the holes and tell me which one it fits in!''
suggests the lady.

So he takes her advice, goes outside and puts his pennis in the first hole. A woman walks past, sees it and starts feeling it.

The man thinks: ''Hey, this ain't too bad!''

Then he puts his pennis in the second hole, another woman walks by, and gives him a blow job. At this point, he is literally blown away. He quickly shoves it in the last hole, and yet another woman walks by, and she starts to shag him. After they are done rocking, he high-steps it back inside and goes to the counter.

The assistant asks: ''What size then?''
- "Forget the condoms!!"
says the man, "How much for the fence?"

[ Added: Sat Sep 13, 2014 9:41 am ]
Jokεs of τhε dαy - [13-09-2014]

---- 1 ----

A blonde's house was on fire, so she called 911 and started screaming:
- "Help me, please! My house is burning! Hurry!"
- "OK, calm down ma'am, and we'll be there soon!"
, said the operator, "How do we get to your house?"
- "Duh, in that big red truck!"

---- 2 ----

Q: What did the blonde say when the airplane began to shake?
A: "Must be an earthquake."

---- 3 ----

A blonde walks into a doctor's office and says:
- "Doc, I'm horribly sick!"
The doctor looks at her and asks: "Flu?"
- "No, I drove here."

[ Added: Tue Sep 16, 2014 2:52 am ]
Jokε of τhε dαy - [16-09-2014]

A doctor tells a group of patients:

- "The material we put into our stomachs is terrible. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High-fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?"

An old man raises his hand and says:

- "Wedding cake."

[ Added: Fri Sep 19, 2014 1:23 pm ]
Jokε of τhε dαy - [19-09-2014]

---- 1 ----

Three nuns went to a football game and three men got stuck sitting behind them. The men couldn't see very well because of the nun's little hats. So they came up with a plan to make them leave.

- ''I think I'll move to California, there are only 50 Catholics there!", said the first man.
- "I think I'll move to Washington, there are only 25 Catholics there.''
- "I think I'll move to Idaho, there are only 10 Catholics there!''

Then one of the nuns turned around and said:

- "Go to Hell, there are NO Catholics there!!!"

---- 2 ----

Q: - What does a blonde do when her computer freezes?
A: - She sticks it in the microwave.

[ Added: Thu Sep 25, 2014 5:34 am ]
Jokε of τhε dαy - [25-09-2014]

---- 1 ----

A city girl was driving back to town after attending a family funeral when she ran out of gas. It was getting late so she asked two good ol' boys sitting on the stoop of a mobile home where she could get some gas.

- “Well...” said one, “...the fillin' station ain't open 'till tomorrie, but I reckon you kin stay the night with me & Billy-Bob here.”

She accepted, only to be told that there was only one bed, which both Billy-Bob & Billy-Ray slept in. Thinking it might be fun, she went ahead anyway. When all three of them were all tucked in, they were just about to jump her bones when she halted proceedings. Pulling out two condoms, she said:

- “You nice boys wouldn't want me to get pregnant, would you? Here, put these on.”

They did. The three of them proceeded to have the time of their lives. In the morning the car got gassed up and our girl went back to the city.

Three months later, Billy-Bob and Billy-Ray were sitting on the stoop, chewin' on some RedMan.

- “D'ya remember that city girl who stopped by here a while back?” asked Billy-Ray.
- “Ah, sure do!” said Billy-Bob, with a smirk.
- “D'ya really care if she gets pregnant?”
- “Nah...!!” said Billy-Bob.
- “Well then, lets get these STUPID things off...!!”

---- 2 ----

Q: - How do you keep an idiot busy? (see below)
A: - How do you keep an idiot busy? (see above)

[ Added: Sun Sep 28, 2014 11:21 am ]
Jokε of τhε dαy - [28-09-2014]

---- 1 ----

A blonde bought some goldfish, but she did not know how to feed them.
She called her brunette friend for help.
Once they were done feeding them, the blonde said: ''Now, what do I give them to drink?''

---- 2 ----

There was a man named George who got a new job. His fellow employees always met for a round of golf every Saturday. They asked George to meet them at 10:00 Saturday morning. George replied that he would love to meet them, but he may be 10 minutes late.

On Saturday morning George was there at exactly 10:00. He golfed right handed and won the round. Next Saturday rolls around, and George says that he will be there, but he may be 10 minutes late again. He shows up right on time, golfs left handed, and wins the round.

This continues for the next few weeks, with Geoge always saying that he may be 10 minutes late, and then always winning the round, golfing, either left or right handed. The other employees are getting tired of this, and decided to ask him what the deal was.

- ''George, every Saturday you say you may be ten minutes late. You never are. Then you show up and golf with either right handed or left handed, and always win. What is up with that?''
- ''Well,...'' George replies, ''...I am a very superstitious kind of guy. Every Saturday when I wake up, I look over at my wife. If she is sleeping on her left side, I golf left handed. If she is sleeping on her right side, I golf right handed.''
- ''Well,...'' one of the employees questioned, ''...what happens if she is laying on her back?''

George replies: ''Then I am 10 minutes late.''

---- 3 ----

Q: - What is the difference between a GOOD and a BAD girl?
A: - A GOOD girl goes to a party, goes home then goes to bed. A BAD girl goes to a party, goes to bed then goes home.

[ Added: Tue Sep 30, 2014 9:44 am ]
Jokε of τhε dαy - [30-09-2014]

---- 1 ----

An old man finds a condom in his grandson's apartment and asks what it is.

- "It's a condom.", replies the grandson, sheepishly.
- "What do you use it for?", asks Grandpa.
- "I use it to keep my cigarettes dry when I smoke in the rain.", the grandson replies embarrassed.
- "That's a great idea!", Grandpa says.

He goes to the drug store and asks the pharmacist for a condom.

- "What size would you like?", asks the pharmacist.
- "Big enough to fit a Camel."

---- 2 ----

Q: - What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?
A: - Pull the pin and throw it back.

[ Added: Sun Oct 05, 2014 12:30 pm ]
Jokε of τhε dαy - [05-10-2014]

---- 1 ----

A woman goes to the gynecologist for an exam. She puts her feet into the stirrups and the doctor begins his exam.

After a moment, he says: "You have an unusually deep vagina."
The woman replies: "You don't have to say it twice."
The doctor says: "I didn't."

---- 2 ----

Two drunk guys try to pick up some girls. The girls go home with these guys, blow-up two dolls into their beds and leave.

The next morning, one guy tells the other: "I think my girl was a witch! When I bit her on the tit, she hissed and flew away."

---- 3 ----

Q: - What two men's hobbies require the most hand-eye coordination?
A: - Video games and porn.

Age: 26
Joined: 15 Sep 2014
Posts: 3
Posted: Tue Oct 07, 2014 5:51 pm   

Oh god, these are FANTASTIC!

Age: 47
Joined: 10 Apr 2014
Posts: 7
Location: Velvento, Greece
Posted: Wed Oct 08, 2014 10:07 am   

WildFlower1324 wrote:
Oh god, these are FANTASTIC!

Thanks WildFlower!! Doing my best...!! :grin: :lol:

[ Added: Wed Oct 08, 2014 12:16 pm ]
Jokε of τhε dαy - [08-10-2014]

---- 1 ----

Two gay men decide to have a baby. They mix their sperm and have a surrogate mother artificially inseminated. When the baby is born, they rush to the hospital. Two dozen babies are in the ward, 23 of which are crying and screaming. One, over in the corner, is smiling serenely. A nurse comes by, and to the men's delight, she points out the happy child as theirs.

- ''Isn't it wonderful?'', Brad exclaims, ''All these unhappy children, and ours is so happy.''
- ''He's happy now!", says the nurse, "But just wait until we take the pacifier out of his bum.''

---- 2 ----

Q: - What's the difference between a woman and a computer?
A: - The woman doesn't accept 3 1/2 inch floppies.

---- 3 ----

Q: - What did the bra say to the hat?
A: - "You go on ahead while I give these two a lift."

---- 4 ----

A man walking down the street trips over an old oil lamp. As he picks it up, a genie pops out and says:

- "I will grant you one wish!"
- "I want to live in a mansion in Hawaii...", the man says, "...but I'm afraid of boats and planes, so I want there to be a bridge from here to there."
- "That's too much work!", the genie sighs, "Sorry, can't make it happen."
- "Fine,...", says the man, "...then I want to understand women."
- "Would you like two lanes or four on that bridge?"

[ Added: Thu Oct 09, 2014 2:33 am ]
Jokε of τhε dαy - [09-10-2014]

---- 1 ----

A gentleman sits next to a priest on an airplane. He sees the priest doing a crossword puzzle. Time passes and the priest says:

- "Excuse me, sir, but do you know a four letter word that describes a woman and ends in 'u-n-t'?"

The gentleman thinks about this and finally says:
- "I believe the word you're looking for is 'aunt'."
- "Oh, you're right! That fits, too. Would you happen to have an eraser?"

---- 2 ----

Q: - What is a hooker in Alaska called?
A: - A frostitute.

[ Added: Sat Oct 11, 2014 7:04 am ]
Jokε of τhε dαy - [11-10-2014]

---- 1 ----

Q: - What did the farmer say when he read that nowadays genetic engineers are implanting human DNA into goats?
A: - "Hell, I've been doing that for years."

---- 1 ----

A group of men are used to go up into the mountains to go bear hunting. One morning, Bill goes out on his own. He comes to a clearing on a hill overlooking a field and sees a bear slowly strolling across the field. He gets the bear in his sites and fires. He then looks all around, but he can't find the bear.

All of a sudden, he feels a tap on his shoulder. He turns around, and there's the bear. The bear knocks the gun out of his hands, and Bill stands there shaking in his boots. The bear yells at him, saying he's sick and tired of being shot at and gives Bill an ultimatum. The bear tells him that he can either drop to his knees and blow him, or the bear will eat his face.

Bill immediately drops to his knees and obliges the bear. The bear walks away contented and Bill find his way back to the cabin.

The next morning, Bill takes an even bigger gun with him and goes to the same place he saw the bear before. And sure enough, there was the bear strolling across the field again. Bill gets all excited, gets the bear in his sites and shoots! He looks all around, but there is no bear. All of a sudden he feels a tap on his shoulder again. He turns around, and, surprise, there's the bear. The bear looks at him, knocks the gun out of his hand, and says: ''You know the routine.''

Bill drops to his knees and obliges the bear again. When he's done, the bear walks away smoking a cigarette and Bill stumbles back to his cabin.

Bill is all angry now. He grabs the biggest gun he can find and heads to the same spot again. And sure enough, there is the bear strolling across the field again. He aims the bear and says to himself: ''Now this bear's gonna get it!'' He pulls the trigger and, "Ka-BOOM!" He looks all over again, but no bear. Then, just as before, he feels the same tap at his shoulder. He turns around, there's the bear standing there with a big smirk on his face. He looks down at Bill and says: ''You're not in this for the hunting, are you?'''

[ Added: Sun Oct 12, 2014 9:13 am ]
Jokε of τhε dαy - [12-10-2014]

---- 1 ----

Q: - What do you call a person who can sit on an ice cream and tell the flavor?
A: - A smartass!

---- 2 ----

There was a competition between a team of blondes and a team of brunettes to see who could catch the most fish icefishing. Once the contest started, it was clear that the brunettes were going to win. They kept pulling out fish after fish!! Soon, the blondes got worried and sent over one of their team to see what the brunettes were doing differently. A few minutes later, the blonde comes running back.

- "A hole! You need to put a hole in the ice!"
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