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Here's another to get you laughing--doesn't count:

When the power mower was broken and wouldn't run, a wife kept hinting to her husband that he ought to get it fixed, but somehow the message never sank in. Finally, she thought of a clever way to make the point. When her husband arrived home that day, he found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. He watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. He was gone only a few moments when he came out again, he handed her a toothbrush. "When you finish cutting the grass," he said, "you might as well sweep the sidewalks."

Congrats again lag!

New one for this week--doesn't count:

If Life Were Like A Computer:

You could add/remove someone in your life using the control panel.

You could put your kids in the recycle bin and restore them when you feel like it!

You could improve your appearance by adjusting the display settings.

You could turn off the speakers when life gets too noisy.

You could click on “find” (Ctrl, F) to recover your lost remote control and car keys.

To get your daily exercise, just click on "run"!

If you mess up your life, you could always press "Ctrl, Alt, Delete" and start all over!

Here's one to start the week--doesn't count for contest:

A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, pal. You're obviously drunk."

Our wasted friend asked, "Officer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?"

"Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the cop. "Let's go."

Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, "Thank goodness, I thought I was crippled."

Welcome dustydragon--the more the merrier!!

Here's another that doesn't count:

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin.

However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter.

After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman's new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before! All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty! One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice. She said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. There is no way I could ever repay you."

"My darling," he replied, "think nothing of it. I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek."

Here's another that doesn't count:

A scruffy bum applied for the position of wine taster at an exclusive winery. Unable to devise a way to get rid of the bum, the owner decided to test him. He tasted the first glass of wine and pronounced, "It's a red wine, a nice muscat, three years old, grown on a north-facing slope, matured in steel containers." "Why, that's right," said the surprised owner and handed him another glass. The bum announced, "This is a cabernet, eight years old, grown on a southwestern slope, and aged in oak barrels." "Correct again," said the owner. He gave him a third glass. "This is Champagne, a little fruity, but quite worthwhile." The owner was astonished. He whispered to his secretary, who left and returned a few minutes later with another glass. The bum tasted it, winced, and said, "This is urine, from a 26-year-old blond, three months pregnant and, if you don't give me the job, I'm gonna name the father!"

Congrats Lag!

Here's another that doesn't count to get this week started:

The newlyweds are in their honeymoon room and the groom decides to let the bride know where she stands right from the start of the marriage.

He proceeds to take off his trousers and throw them at her. He says, "Put those on."

The bride replies, "I can't wear your trousers."

He replies, "And don't forget that! I will always wear the pants in the family!"

The bride takes off her knickers and throws them at him with the same request, "Try those on!"

He replies,"I can't get into your knickers!"

"And you never bloody will if you don't change your attitude."

Yay! Great start--thanks all for sharing.

oops, forgot to add a joke of my own--DOES NOT COUNT IN CONTEST!

A lady was walking down the street when she was a approached by a lady beggar asking for money.The lady took a $20 bill out of her purse, and asked “if I give you this money will you spend it on chocolate.” “Don’t be ridiculous” the beggar replied “does it look like I have nothing better to spend money on?” “How about shopping?” she asked. “No,” the beggar said, “don’t you understand I need money just to stay alive.” “Will you spend it on your hair?” the lady asked. Annoyed the beggar replied, “No, I just need money for food, and shelter. “In that case” the lady said “I don’t want to just give you money I would like you to eat out with me and my husband tonight.”
“Why?” The beggar asked. “Well,”the lady said “I think it’s important for him to see what a lady looks like after she gives up chocolate, shopping, and hair appointments.”

Jeanne has suggested a thread with jokes, so here you go.

RL can get you down, so let's have some good jokes to help keep things FUN!!!!!

ok, thanks--I copied your link from your profile and pasted into a new tab--no captcha. I don't remember ever seeing one on any of the FutureRP links I've ever clicked, but rest assured--if there's a captcha , I'll complete it

Sorry, Heroin, but I guess I'm one of those that isn't doing it-----do you have to scroll down or something? I don't remember even seeing a captcha on those links

Apologies to any others who have that game link since I didn't do yours right either.

I'll make the effort to look harder next time I click those links

Belated thanks for the removal of the timers

It's really appreciated when I don't have a lot of time to sit here waiting, but still want to click all there are to be clicked

Thank you

For the sake of clarity I would like to ask how do VIPs that are earned ( i.e. clicks over 60,000) fit into this? I recall seeing (somewhere, not sure where) that my VIP said expire:never. I don't see this anymore.

Do all VIPs now have an expiration time? Or does this only apply to VIP that may come with credits purchase?

I do not want to be misunderstood--I am not trying to fuel any dispute, but I DO have some questions pertaining to this situation.

I had always assumed that the transfer notes were private on the order of mail--only the sender & recipient were able to see them. Neither, to my knowledge, was "in the open" for any others to see unlike our dynasty page short notes. I have to wonder how many other users here were under the same impression?

This new enlightenment is a little disturbing. This incident was not "out for all to see flaming", yet Jeanne was banned, albeit a shortened ban. THEN rule #7 was updated. Normally, one gets a warning before a ban and particularly since the rule wasn't clarified until AFTER Jeanne was banned, this seems like extraordinary harshness.

Now that the rule has been clarified, everyone is on notice that only mail is truly private. Now all can take steps to make sure that they do not overstep the bounds since all are now aware what they are.

Second time I've clicked this link, second time I get a warning from my AV that there is a virus.

I am having this happen again today. Some links load perfectly normally, some won't load no matter what. I get a page load error on say, dragcave one click, but the next one loads normally. Graphics in short notes disappear only to reappear if I refresh the page yet gone again next reload. Sometimes they're just gone, sometimes I get the torn paper box in place of the graphics. It happened the other day also. Yesterday all was fine. Thinking it was my machine, I ran malware & virus scans & came up with nothing wrong. It is only happening on the click exchange--any other sites I go to are working fine.

I wonder if it might be something messing with this site.

It stinks because I sometimes am getting credit for the no load clicks but since I can't follow through, the person I clicked is unnecessarily losing credits.

The last few days, instead of the usual numeric entry needed to follow up on these links, I've been getting a box with Concursul a luat sfarsit
Vezi castigatorii
When I click that all it does is take me to the main page--do the link owners get credit for the click?

If you're closing the newly opened tabs too quickly,it's possible they may not be fully loaded and so are not counting.

Remember that you are clicked by anyone you yourself have clicked on main or in your history since you aren't a VIP. Add those clicks to the amount of your dynasty's allies & that is how many, minimum, you must click in order to stay even for just one link. Try just having the one link for awhile and click your fingers off. Take advantage of Happy Hours where there are extra links available.

Once you reach 60k clicks, you get an automatic VIP or, you can purchase a modest amount of credits and get a VIP. This would allow you to hide links from main & history unless you're clicking there.

A lot of changes have happened here in the past 6 months, but, there's always a way to work with it & stay positive. Hang in there

My 2Â¢ would say that the easiest way for a newbie to build up credits is for their dynasty to overlook the balancing of their clicks until they have enough credits. Yes, this would mean a dynasty would take a hit in min/avg for awhile since the lower number counts, but I personally would rather have a member clickable by myself & allies rather than unclickable.

As for having a multiple-clicks-required link ( ie Brute if you have flashblock or a Unicreature profile page) be worth more, it would be nice, but my choice is to not click it unless I want to take the extra time it takes to complete it. Yes, my clicks have been dramatically reduced & the fun isn't here like it was in the past, but pfft. Clicking links doesn't sign my paycheck, so I now only do what I can & don't stress it any more. I spend more time in RL these days--it's nice to get to know my family again :razz: